Letting Go
by Haunted Emerald Depths
Summary: COMPLETE. Just before graduation, Harry was given news that would haunt him for the next four years. One day, he thinks back on it, trying to figure out why the one he loved did what he said had to be done. Then the unexpected happens... Slight DMHP
1. Reminiscing

Okay, first off, for those of you that have been following _Decreso Aetas_, no, I haven't given up on it. I'm just having a really difficult time writing chapter twelve. It is more than half way done, though.

This fic came to mind yesterday while listening to a song. It was _Over and Over _by Nelly and Tim McGraw. It's not based off of it exactly, and it does not contain any lyrics.

I'd like to think my beta, Izzy. Rock on, girl!

Well, here goes nothing...

**WARNING: Slight slash, a.k.a male/male pairing**

**Summary: **Just before graduation, Harry was given news that would haunt him for the next four years. One day, he thinks back on it, trying to figure out why the one he loved did what he said had to be done.** Slight D/H. **One-shot (?).

Disclaimer: No way in hell do I own Harry Potter. I give the credit to one J.K. Rowling...

_One has to let go of the pain before moving on..._

* * *

Harry Potter glanced out of his living room window, watching as the rain drenched the countryside. The weather was a perfect representation of how he felt: miserable. The house seemed oddly empty, which is saying something as he lived alone. The shadows that lurked in the corners threatened to overtake him. A thick blanket of silence wrapped around him, making hearing difficult. The only sound he could make out was the beating of his own heart.

Harry sat down in the armchair that was positioned by the window. As he watched the dark clouds rolling across the sky, ones that reflected his mood, he began losing himself in his thought. Over the past few weeks, his mood had become surlier and darker. The date of when one of his worst memories had occurred was drawing ever closer, and dark thoughts continually plagued his mind.

It had taken place on the eve of his graduation, the day all of Hogwarts' seventh years were supposed to be in high spirits and celebrating. Instead, Harry had wandered away from the festivities and down an abandoned corridor, only to be told something that would break his heart and haunt him for the next four years…

Harry sat back in his armchair, the darkness overwhelming him as the memory became resurfaced in his mind once more…

* * *

_That June morning dawned bright and beautiful, a warm breeze blew across the Hogwarts grounds. The graduates of 1998 awoke, feeling elated about what was set to occur later that day._

_The day was to be spent participating in various festivities, signing random items to remember each other by, and exchanging thoughts for the future. Harry was among those doing the latter, stating how he was still pursuing his dream of becoming an Auror. All throughout that day, Harry found himself searching for a pair of stunning grey eyes. Whenever they were seen looking back at him through the crowd, he smiled secretly. He never did notice the pain and sadness hidden in their depths._

_Dinnertime rolled around much faster than the students had anticipated. Harry had finished and left the Gryffindor table, saying that he wanted to take a walk and think. He never saw the grey eyes following his every move._

_The raven-haired Gryffindor wandered aimlessly through the empty Entrance Hall, depressing thoughts now beginning to seep into every fibre of his mind. This would be his last night in the one place he had begun to consider as his home. Tomorrow he would be on the train, ready to start life as an adult._

_Harry's thoughts carried him up a few flights of stairs and down several corridors. He had the feeling one usually got when being followed, but he passed it off as he spotted the ghosts drifting aimlessly through the walls. Pausing at a window located along the corridor, he looked out onto the grounds. So many things have happened out there that he never wanted to forget. His emerald eyes drifted towards the Quidditch pitch. He smiled sadly, knowing he would miss playing the game._

"_Harry…"_

_The Gryffindor started, jumping away from the window. _

"_Draco…," he breathed out in relief when he noticed the Slytherin. He stepped forward and embraced the blonde, a smile gracing his features. "You scared me." _

_He then stepped back to peer at the other boy. When he saw the look on his face, Harry's smile faded. _

"_What's wrong?"_

"_I have to tell you something," Draco replied, his voice extremely quiet, his fingers pulling at the sleeves of his robes, causing them to become slightly frayed. "It's very important." _

"_Erm…okay," Harry replied, looking at the other boy worriedly. Draco paused for a moment before turning around and leading them down an unused corridor._

"_Now, what's so important?" Harry asked, stepping forward and taking hold of one of Draco's hands. The blonde looked down at their clasped fingers, hesitating while he mulled over how to word his thoughts._

"_We can't go on like this, Harry," he finally blurted out, his voice sounding slightly choked. He squeezed the Gryffindor's hand briefly before letting go and taking a step back. His normally bright grey eyes were dull and filled with deep sadness._

"_Wh…what do you mean?" Harry questioned, confusion making itself apparent on his face. His heart skipped a beat and his mind fearing the worst._

"_We can't continue seeing each other in secret," the blonde answered, his eyes now looking glassy. He averted his gaze down to the floor, unable to look at the expression on Harry's face. The Gryffindor stuttered incoherently before muttering a single syllable._

"_Why?"_

"_Can't you see, Harry?" Draco replied in an exasperated voice. "You're a wanted man. My father could figure us out, and have you killed on the spot. That, or he'll use me to hand you over to Voldemort. You know I don't want that to happen."_

"_I know, but how could they find out about us?" Harry countered, a pleading look in his eyes. With every syllable the blonde uttered, he could feel his heart breaking into a million pieces. It killed him to hear the one person that understood him so well and has gone through many of the same things he had turning away from him._

"_My father has his ways," Draco said sadly, closing his eyes._

"_Then don't go home," Harry suggested, his voice desperate and pleading. "We can travel after we graduate. It wouldn't make it easier for them to find us." There was a new light in those jade eyes, one that held a small glimmer of hope._

"_Yes, it would," the blonde replied. Those three words caused Harry's world to come crashing down. "There are still ways for them to locate us. Voldemort has small groups of Death Eaters stationed in different parts of the world. It would only make things worse…especially for you."_

"_Draco, please," Harry cried out in exasperation. He walked forward and placed his hands on the blonde's shoulders. He shook him gently, trying to get him to open his eyes and look at him. "You can't do this to me. I…I care about you too much."_

"_I know," Draco replied quietly, a couple tears escaping from beneath his closed eyelids. "That's why this hurts so bad." His frame began shaking as he began sobbing quietly. He was about ready to crack under the strain of suppressed emotions. _

"_Then don't do this," Harry whispered, his voice breaking slightly. "We could figure something out. Maybe Dumbledore can help us. I think he already knows." The blonde opened his eyes at that, shaking his head in response. _

"_I'm sorry, Harry…" he said quietly. Draco pressed his lips to the Gryffindor's, attempting to show him just how much he cared about him. Harry reached up and gently brushed his hand against the smooth, pale skin, their lips moving against the other's. Draco reached up and tangled his slender fingers in the Gryffindor's midnight locks, gently prompting his mouth open. Their kiss deepened, them exploring what had now become very well known territory. _

_When breathing became an issue, the two boys broke apart. Draco gently bit Harry's bottom lip before fully pulling away. He looked into Harry's eyes, seeing a mixture of sadness and love. _

"_I'll miss you," the Gryffindor choked out, unable to keep the sadness out of his voice._

"_Don't forget me…"_

_Giving him one last watery smile, Draco turned and began walking down the corridor. Just before he rounded the corner, he turned to look back at the Gryffindor._

"_Good-bye, Harry…"_

* * *

Harry opened his eyes, letting go of a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. There was now a sharp pain that lodged itself in the empty hole that was his heart. He couldn't bare thinking about that fateful day. It was just too much.

As if acting upon instinct, his hand searched for the necklace that hung around his neck. It was a silver snake with emerald eyes, something that he had received from Draco on Christmas. The memory of that morning brightened his spirits just a little, but it did nothing to fill the emptiness.

He and Draco had first gotten together in the middle of their sixth year. They had gotten themselves stuck in several detentions together, and the two had gotten to know each other pretty well. After finding out that they had so much in common, they began growing closer. It was only a matter of time before the two of them were meeting secretly in empty classrooms and corridors, either to snog or just to talk. He never even told Ron and Hermione, though he thought that Hermione suspected that he was seeing someone. If she had, she never said anything about it.

Over the next year and a half, so many things had happened. Fights were at an all-time high, but not for the reasons others thought. The sheer thrill of just being able to touch each other without making it look like what it actually was seemed to be enough to drive them both overboard.

Towards the end of their seventh year, Harry, unable to keep it bottled up any longer, confessed to Draco that he loved him. The blonde had looked so surprised that Harry thought he had made a mistake and that Draco didn't feel the same way. Instead, the Slytherin pressed him up against the wall and snogged him silly, only pausing to tell him that he loved him as well. Harry, now twenty-one years of age, would give anything to just go back to that day and stay there forever, but he knew it wasn't possible.

Sighing, he stood up and walked over to his bookcase and picked up a framed picture. It showed him and Draco standing in each other's arms by the lake at Hogwarts. Harry smiled sadly, remembering when he asked Colin Creevy to take it, threatening to hex him if he told a single soul. Thank Merlin the boy kept true to his word.

There was also another farther along the shelf that made Harry laugh lightly. It depicted him and Draco laughing and throwing snow at each other on the school grounds, pausing every once in a while to share an innocent kiss.

A sudden knock at the door startled the pensive man, almost causing him to drop the photo. He glanced at the clock, then raised an eyebrow. It was nine-thirty in the evening. Who would come by this late?

Placing the picture back on its shelf, he glanced at it sadly, the ache in his heart renewing itself. He then went over toward the door, opening it cautiously. The sight that met his eyes almost caused his heart to stop beating then and there.

Standing just beyond the threshold in the pouring rain, his platinum blonde hair matted to his head, clothes drenched through, and a shy smile on his pale face, stood Draco Malfoy.

"Hello, Harry…"

* * *

Well, there you have it. Please review and tell me what you thought. Thanks! 


	2. A Reunion and Answers

Yes, this should have been up way sooner. I take forever to update things nowadays. I still blame it on school. -.- Luckily I'm done this Thursday. Woot!

Anyway, this chapter goes on to describe what went on with Draco over the years that he and Harry haven't seen each other. This will most definately be the last chapter.

The slash note is still in affect, though it is still very light.

**Disclaimer:** There is no way in any shape or form that I own Harry Potter. The credit should be given to one J.K. Rowling. The only thing I own is the plot.

- - -

"D-_Draco_?" Harry stuttered in surprise. He rubbed his eyes, making sure he wasn't just seeing things. "Merlin...It _is_ you. But what -- what are you..." His voice trailed off as he stared, open-mouthed, at the man before him.

"Isn't it obvious why I'm here?" the blonde replied, a genuine smile making its way onto his face. Harry took a step forward, continuing to stare and looking dumbfounded. His foot slipped on the rain washed step and he fell forward, sending them both onto the wet ground. The raven-haired man shook his head slightly with a small groan and propped himself up on his elbows so he could look down at Draco.

"You haven't changed that much," he said, running his thumb over the blonde's wet cheek. He still had the same pale, pointed face, yet his features had become more defined. Those cold silver eyes he had known all those years ago had transformed into a warm grey.

"Neither have you," Draco replied with a ghost of a smirk. "Ever the clumsy Gryffindor. And you still have these hideous things?" He reached up and took Harry's glasses, eyeing them critically. He then averted his gaze upward, his eyes meeting the other's brilliant emerald. "You look much better without them." Harry's cheeks reddened slightly as the blonde placed the glasses back on his nose.

"So," Draco said hesitantly as he sat up, bringing his face inches from Harry's, "am I able to come inside? It's a bit...wet out here."

"Oh," Harry muttered, hastily getting to his feet. "Of course." He held out a hand and helped the other off the ground. They both walked up the steps and into the house. Harry closed the door quietly, and then glanced at the blonde, now at a loss for words. Draco, however, was not. He was looking around with an appreciative eye.

"This is really nice," he said, taking in the room. "This is much better than having a house that you can get lost in." A somewhat disdainful expression flitted over his features at the thought, but it disappeared quickly. He sat down on the sofa, Harry following suit. There was a brief moment of silence before he asked something that he had apparently had on his mind for a while. "Are you living here by yourself?"

"Yes," Harry replied, shifting his position so he was leaning against Draco. The blonde saw that he was shivering due to his wet clothes, but Harry didn't appear to notice how cold he was. Draco summoned a blanket and draped it over them. "Why?" Harry asked, still not fully taking notice of anything else besides the man next to him, though he did nestle underneath the blanket. Draco rubbed the back of his neck, which the other noticed as a nervous gesture. He grabbed the blonde's wrist and lowered his arm, though he still kept hold of it.

"Well," Draco began quietly, sounding somewhat hesitant. He paused to think over his words. "I kind of expected to come here and find you married and living with a family. It's been almost four years since the end of seventh year and I would have thought you'd have settled down." He shrugged and leaned his head back against the sofa with a quiet sigh. Harry looked at him for a moment before adjusting himself so that he had his head resting on the blonde's lap.

"I did think about it," he muttered. "There were even times when I was seeing someone. But the relationships never lasted long," he added hurriedly when Draco's head snapped up so he could look down at him. "The spark that was present during sixth and seventh year was never there with the others. The time I spent with them was nothing compared to that year and a half."

"Do you even realize how cheesy that sounds?" the blonde asked, but he smiled nonetheless. "You seem like some hopeless romantic."

"Well, maybe I am," Harry replied with a smirk and a slight shrug. Something then sparked in his mind. "And out of curiosity, how did you find me anyway? Not many people know I live out here."

"Well, it just so happened that I stumbled upon a certain Miss Granger while wandering Diagon Alley. Or is she now Mrs. Weasley?" the blonde added with a slight smile. Harry chuckled and nodded. He had always known that there was something between his two best friends. It just took them longer to realize it.

"I thought so," Draco continued. "No wonder she was carrying a young redheaded girl in her arms." He then paused for a bit. "Anyway, I happened to come across her, and I must say she that she wasn't all that happy to see me. I am almost positive now that you were right in suspecting that she knew something about us during school. Most likely she noticed how differently you were acting after I said goodbye that day. That woman is too intelligent for her own good."

Draco then lapsed into silence for a moment, giving Harry a brief chance to contemplate what was just said. The raven-haired man felt a slight pang of sadness at the thought of that day, but still he smiled, noticing just how good it felt to hear Draco talk that way about his friend. Before sixth year he would be ready to defend Ron and Hermione from the blonde's scathing remarks, his hand on his wand and a hex always on the tip of his tongue when he saw him. But now he knew he no longer had to worry. Draco lost his egotistical manner somewhere along the line, in most aspects anyway. In some ways he was still arrogant, but it no longer irked Harry the way it used to when they were younger.

The clearing of a throat brought Harry back to the present. He looked up at Draco, still expectant for the rest of the answer.

"As I was saying, I asked her about you and where you were," the blonde continued. "I thought that she wouldn't answer me at first. The look she was giving me was not a very nice one. I think my wonderful charm worked its magic on her and made her pity me, though, because she eventually broke down." He chuckled lightly as he ducked his head, avoiding the hand that came up to swat at him. "She said that you were living out here in the country. I was going to ask why you were away from everyone else, but almost immediately the obvious answer smacked me in the face. After all those years of being badgered by reporters and hunted by a psycho megalomaniac and his lapdogs, it's pretty easy to figure out why you wanted to be away from everything." Harry nodded, that being his exact reason. He then sat up quickly, realizing something else.

"But what about your father?" he asked, his head still reeling from the head rush. "What if he finds out where you are or about us or --" Harry's ranting was silenced as Draco placed a finger over the raven-haired one's lips.

"He's dead," the blonde replied without a trace of sadness in his voice. Harry didn't say anything about it, even after Draco removed his finger, but there his eyes were questioning. "He was killed by a few of the other Death Eaters when he didn't do one of Voldemort's missions correctly. Apparently it was a very important one if the penalty of messing it up was death." He shook his head briefly. "My father was always so willing to please that beast and he ended up dying at his hands, though indirectly. He'd even hand over those in his immediate family if they had information Voldemort needed, and that is why I said what I did back in seventh year. I didn't do that for my protection, but for yours." He briefly traced the lightning bolt that was Harry's scar.

"But what if someone else finds us out and turns you over for questioning? What if someone tailed you here?" Harry questioned firmly, though a warmth spread through him at the blonde's last statement.

"Unless you have a Death Eater hiding under your bed, no one else will figure us out," Draco replied with a small smile. "As for the tailing, I didn't take a direct route here, just in case. Not everyone is as clever as Hermione, and that we should be thankful for." Harry laughed lightly and nodded, now feeling more at ease. However, one last question came to mind.

"Where were you all this time, then?"

"I was at the manor," was the reply. "I kept the indifferent, cold-hearted Malfoy mask on at all times for my father so he never suspected a thing. I went along with what he wanted me to do. But it was never anything for the Death Eaters," Draco added hastily as a startled look appeared in Harry's eyes. "Even though it may sound horrible to say, at least he died before anything like that happened." He was then silent for a small moment. With a slight smile, the blonde ran his fingers through Harry's jet-black hair, making it stand on end. With his hair like that and the expression on his face, he almost looked seventeen again.

"I believe that's enough talking for now," the blonde continued after a bit, the smile still on his face. "I'd like to do something more interesting." Draco placed a hand on Harry's chest and began to push him back down into a lying position. He bent down and brought his face closer to the other's. Their noses briefly touched before the blonde moved his mouth toward Harry's expectant one. However, before they could meet, he was stopped by a sharp poke that just missed his eye. Harry opened his eyes, which had closed somewhere along the line, and looked up questioningly, wondering why he heard a hiss of pain. He then realized what happened.

"I guess we both forgot," he said, biting back a laugh. He thought back to all the times when Draco ended up being jabbed by his glasses if he wasn't careful. Draco nodded, chuckling lightly. He then removed the offending objects and placed them on the end table beside the sofa.

"Now," the blonde muttered as he extinguished the lights with a wave of the wand he retrieved from his pocket. "Where were we?"

- - -

_**Fin**_

- - -

Well, hope that was good enough. Be sure to leave a nice review!

Also, to those that have been reading DA, it will be updated soon enough. The next chapter is a little more than half way finished. I hope holding out a little longer isn't too much to ask.


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